One of my colleagues have mentioned to me way before this psychic that she knows and she's been going to for years and years now.  I am always fond of watching shows on TV where psychics get to predict what happens on the following year - may it be to the world, to a certain person or a certain zodiac sign.

And so... On my birthday, I decided to go. And it has been one heck of an interesting kick-ass fortune-telling event of my life. I'll try to remember every detail.

Everything she says about me is true, even the last phrase I told my friend (who was also there at the crime scene) goose bumps everywhere!

2 Days before:  I was pinging my friend what I want in a guy in a humorous way. I was not serious and my friend knows that. Now: "mama june", the fortune teller was laying down the cards I picked one after another, she asked, do you have any questions in particular you want to ask? Well, I wasn't ready to ask yet so I said no then all of a sudden she uttered in a naiinis manner, ikaw naman kasi you are looking for a knight in shining armour. Ang gusto mo, is a guy who's inside this box in a perfect package. Gusto mo ng KAHIT GWAPO  BASTA MAYAMAN i repeat, this is no typo - KAHIT GWAPO BASTA MAYAMAN!!! ...

Freakin time out! 2 Days before: that was the exact phrase I was pinging my friend -describing what I want in a guy. You see, it's a joke because originally, the phrase is supposed to be "kahit HINDI gwapo, basta mayaman" but the crazy person that I am, I told my friend, "Kahit Gwapo, Basta mayaman" but mama june said exactly the way how I said it to my friend! and we were both having goosebumps and OMG OMG OMG! We were just completely hysterical and si mama june, wala lang - hello parang araw araw nakikita na nya yung ganong reaction. That was creepy!

So she told me that I have to prepare myself for "the one", he (mama june is gay) could not see on the first cards that I picked if I ever am going to marry or going to meet him, more so when - because mama june hates my guts, she hates how I react when love is in front of me. She says I tend to overanalyze, I use my brain too much and I forget to feel the moment. Super OUCH dude!

So she told me about my parents that they love me so much and they don't care what I do, they are just proud of me. She also told me about my bad attitude - which is kept within me for the longest time, trying not to accept it because maybe I think I'm too damn perfect but she let it all out - I was in denial, now I'm healing and a changing person.

Then it comes to the interesting part, I get to have 3 wishes and 4 questions. The 4 questions, I need to ask out loud enough for her/him (whatever!) to hear then she replies if it's a Y or N and an explanation. The 3 questions, I'll just ask in my head then she answers with a Y or N and an explanation.

4 Questions:

1. Will I stay with my present employer for good - NO. You will still leave them. (I was kinda sad on this one coz I freakin love my present employer na. but I realized, I asked if it was for good, then I realized, I don't wanna be an employee forever. I want to put up my own business so SOON and eventually be my own boss! Maybe that's what she meant by that. I like freakin forgot to ask her!)

2. Business - Yes (I forgot the details)

3. Will I travel - Yes, because you have the money to spend it for (sosyal ang lola mo!).Well in a way totoo sya because I made a pact to travel every year.

4. This one would be "creepy moment #2" - I couldn't ask it out loud because I was like, feeling dyahe to my kasama who's hearing the entire session. I was really shy, but she just said the freakin question that was in my head exactly how I wanted to ask it. She went - You like someone right now? and gusto mo malaman how he feels about you?! and I went, mama juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuneeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we were all laughing in the room! I went - OPO!!! Susme, di mo pa masabi! - He finds you attractive but then again as I said, you weren't prepared. You need to repackage yourself. When was the last time you looked at the mirror and said P.I.! ang ganda mo! When was the last time you had spa? (and so the reason for my lindsay lohan curly hair, done just today! haha) I asked her, mama june na-meet ko na sya before? - She answered in a nagagalit tone - Oo! but you let him go. Ngayon, marami pang darating and you'll again just let them go because you're not ready. because of the way you think. so repackage yourself, physically, mentally!

I love mama june! - 3 Wishes (in my head):

1. To be successful in career - Ay oo naman!
2. I forgot what my second wish was but I think I got a positive answer on that one
3. Here, I was toggling between getting permanent with my present employer - malapit na kasi 6th month ko and in wishing to have or meet Julius - my first kinda love. So I was toggling, and I was not sure which to choose and what I really want between the two, then I opened the card for mama june and she said, sigurado ka? (she's soooo goood, i want to bring her home! Then she said, you have to work hard for it. (And it just freakin applies to both!)

OK, it's my friend's turn. And i was seated on the couch in front of mama june's table where she was doing her reading with my friend. Same place I was. She was reading to my friend when all of a sudden, she went back looking at me and said - magkakaanak ka. OMG! Ano, dalagang ina?! So I asked her, wala pong asawa? Then she went, gaga! kaya ka nga magkakaanak kasi may asawa!

It was a happy psychic ending day after all :) Happy Lora!

Well, it's been a while now. I figured I needed something wonderful and painful to happen before I could write again, something that's real worth reading for me to share.

 

I'm turning 28, unattached – never been taken and believe me when I say I've passed that stage of longing for someone. Like what I've said long ago – I've accepted it already. And I'm OK.

 

I fell in love the first time when I was in college – in one of my part-time jobs. We were never together. I was able to get over him 5 years after. The second time was in my third job after college, again, we were never together. Period of getting over him – 4 years, at least that's what I think.

 

These are my could-have-beens, the agonizing what-ifs.

 

So after a couple of heartaches and lost chances, I've learned to accept… the fact that maybe well, God has other plans for me.

 

Four years after I met my second love, I did not know that I was to meet the third one. I am assigned a project somewhere in a time that I was really all not caring about my personal life. I'm focused with my job, my movie watching and eating alone in a place where I know 1 or 2 people I can barely consider friends but they're OK and I'm OK with it. You see, my life's a bore but I'm OK.

 

The question and I guess always the big question that I've always had ever since was – why should we have to meet someone only to lose them in the end. Why should these people freaking have to make us feel happy only to lose all that feeling in the end and leave us with bitter love songs and an undeniably excruciating pain. Why? Why? I just don't get it.

 

What's the point of making us feel all this good and make it last a day or a week? Why could it not stay forever or just NOT happen at all? The point is, I've had enough share of the pain that I think it's time for me to be happy or be at least OK for good

 

No more pain.  Though it feels good once in a while… it still lasts for as long you can imagine and only God knows when you'll be OK again. And sometimes it's not fair.

 

But.

 

This third falling in love experience is different. See, I call it love because I don't believe that you only fall in love once. I believe that you will meet a lot of guys whom you will find interesting and get infatuated with but it would not be as intense as it is with that person you cannot get over with no matter how many years you count. All you have to do is wait.

 

I have never been with a date with someone I really really like, much more share a thirty-second walk with him. This time, I've shared a ten-second elevator ride with him, a cab ride and a breakfast – all alone with him. Hah – a chance to impress that one person you see everywhere in your mind.

 

He's charming, really good looking, funny, stable – quite a catch actually. Which made me think he fits to be with a perfect 10 model. He's not simple. And I'm like, the most simple person you'll ever meet. I know I've got tons to offer too but I just feel that way.

 

Falling in love for the third time has really given me that opportunity to do the things I could have done the first and second time. I pushed myself to my limits and did things I could only imagine – with his help of course. I could almost think I grew up now, I can put away the hang ups and let my guards down, just for few moments to feel it. That's what I'll have with me when I walk away from all this, that sense of closure that I never had before. Because I did it – closing my eyes and trying to keep feeling brave before I push the Send button of my phone or IM and just getting it done and over with. At least I did it, and now, there may be what ifs again but it's all not on me.

 

I don't want to know the reason why this feeling had to leave me again this time because I'm going to wake up tomorrow, get ready for work and go home and eat alone again… Him? He's going to travel places - Thailand, Singapore, the US – I don't know where. He will meet girls who will basically throw themselves at him and… and me, I'll just be here...waiting…

 

For that one perfect guy who deserves that one perfect girl… and my only choice is to let nature take its course and hope that its path favors to me. If it does, then I'm really one freaking lucky girl.

 

I hope he has a good life ahead.

There's so much to say about this trip, how beautiful the small island was, how high class their facilities are and how friendly the people are. As opposed to what I have been hearing from others how rude Chinese are...Well, not true.

We arrived at the airport at around 10am.  Our guide was waiting for us and the rest of the Filipino tourists from the same flight as ours.  We had a service bus to bring us to our hotel. So we had a chance to rest before the service bus pick us up again at 4:30pm. We headed first to have a free Chinese dinner then they took us at the Peak which was really gorgeous at night. Down below was a beautiful scenery of what Hong Kong looks like from above at night. It's awesome because what we were seeing were not just ordinary lights and buildings. The sight was more than magnificent. From the peak of the mountain, we took a ride on a tram, it was a train that heads down the land from atop. Then our guide took us off to the night lady market (their version of divisoria in MNL).  Lots of good stuffs to buy actually. Then we're back to the hotel. 

Our second day was the Disney day. The service bus picked us up at 7:45am. We were brought first to the bay, nice scenery too to take pictures. Then we were brought to a well-known jewelry shop in HK and the rest of asia. The TSL Jewelry shop where jewelries are really really expensive but hard to say no to.  I bought a jade necklace for myself and my mom. Mine was colored pale pink in an apple design, it says that Jades bring good luck (if it's original) and since mine was pink, it also brings luck in love life (oh well, much fabulous!). It didn't end to that because for the first time I saw my birth stone! It was quite expensive too but since it's my birthstone, and I was already in Hong Kong already, so I had to buy it as well.  After the jewelry shop, we were brought to a market where they sell champoys and other chinese delicacies, original Pony bags and HK designed shirts. Their originals were really cheaper than what is sold in the malls, so again i sang,

"but if i let u go, i will never know...
what my life would be holding you close to me".

I had to buy stuffs there! After our short shopping, we were off to Disney!  We were expecting heavy line since it was just a week after it's opened but the queue was not bad at all. They have this electronic Wait Time display to let us know how long we would have to wait before it was our turn and the longest that we've waited was for about 15 minutes, that was just for one ride. The rest is around 5 minutes waiting time each. I guess because most of the people are lining up for photos with Mickey, Cinderella and the rest of the Disney characters. There was a parade. And these are 2 spectacular, breath-taking, jaw-dropping MUST SEE in Disney: 1. The theatrical Disney shows featuring Mickey mouse and his friends -- called The Golden Mickey award, The Lion King show where our very own ballerina plays a part at (this one is awesome) and the 3D show of Mickey and Donald duck. 2. Of course the fireworks: I won't elaborate on how they did it because like in a movie, I don't want to be the spoiler but right at that moment, I wanted to kiss any first chinese guy I would see. It's lovely because, while the fireworks were playing in the sky, the song of Leah Salonga's A Whole New World was playing in the background and more...  I wanted to cry at that moment. So, it was fun, really fun!!!

On our third day, the three of us went for an adventure. During the past two days, we had a service bus to take us to our journey. On the third day, we spent the day riding their ever high class state-of-the art MTR. Before you get to the spot where you'd have to wait for the train, you'll pass by clothing, food stores which would make you feel like you are at Greenbelt or Glorietta or even at their airport. I've already mentioned how their MTR is, right? Think of our MRT here, when somebody accidentally pushed you while waiting for the train, you're a dead meat! Their MTR was very safe because the train door opens after the glass door before it opens. Inside the train, everyone was holding their cellphones fearlessly. In our MRT, most of us especially those with expensive phones, use our phones with fear (texting with our hands and phone inside our bag to hide it in a way) or worst, we don't text at all because you'll never know who's gonna snatch it or who's gonna follow you on your way out.  After the ride in the MTR train, we took an airbus (the bus with two floors) and we took our seats at the upper deck of the bus, it was cool!! We were on our way to Ocean Park -- this is a Disney Part 2 really.  Another not to miss part if you're in HK. We rode the cable car, saw sharks and ocean creatures underground, butterflies, they even have a Panda house! Yes, I've already seen a Panda bear in flesh! So cute my dear friends!

I must say that our Ocean Park trip was bitin since we had to leave for our flight at 3:30pm.  But the adventure did not stop from there. We were almost late to our flight back to Manila. The standard time that you have to be at the airport before your scheduled flight is 2 hours before. Our flight is at 6pm and we were still in the midst of commuting at around 5pm. Our service bus going to the airport left us because we didn't reach the hotel where they were supposed to pick us up at 3:30pm. We arrived at the hotel at 4:15pm. So we had to rush to the airport or else, if there were waiting lists of passengers and we're not there 2 hours before 6, we'd miss our flight! When we reached the subway to Airport Express (yes, they have a train for Airport Express), the fare was at 125 HKD. If it was per person, we're dead since most of us have spent our HKD already for pasalubongs and all, good thing 125HKD was for the 3 of us already. It was a like a scene in a movie, we were running with our luggage, all sweat and damn thing, the pictures/receipts from my wallet fell of the ground. OMG! The train was already in front of us when it happened so we had to pick all of it on the floor, the train closed but the Chinese guy operator was so kind, he had the doors opened only for the 3 of us. Let me clarify that, if one of my friends didn't insist on visiting the very far butterfly house at 2pm, our service bus wouldn't have left us. Anyway, after all the running, heart beating fast, worried faces experience, we reached the airport at around 5:20pm. Thank God there were still seats. And when we get to our gate, it was announced that our flight is delayed to 6:50pm. hay, it was really like in a movie, i was about to tell the stewardess that "the guy I was going to marry is in that plane!!! Please!!??"...

The sad part is, it's not about the Disney. Not about Hong Kong, but it's how hard for me to accept the fact that our country is poor, poorer than I've ever imagined.

Don't get me wrong, I love Manila. I hate it when i read hate letters from people from other country telling FOUL things about the Philippines and the Filipinos.  I love watching international sports and cheer for our country versus other countries. I've always been proud to say, "I'm from the Philippines!" whenever a customer asks where I'm from (back when I was an agent)... I've always been happy and proud... until now.

Hong Kong is literally smaller than our country.  You take the MTR (MRT in MNL) and you can possibly tour it in a day if you want to. [Time Out: can i just say that their subway is brilliantly amazing?! We were looking for where we should wait for the train and saw a woman standing watching a commercial on a TV screen. The screen was behind a long dark glass wall. All the while I thought she was just watching TV but where the hell should we wait for the train? When suddenly, the train approaches inside the dark glass walls. When the train stopped, the doors of the walls opened! Then the MTR door opened to let us in and take us to our destination. It's like a train inside a glass tube! And that would really give all the passengers a safe waiting time, no fear of being pushed by someone from behind and fall right down to the trail. I thought I would only see that in a Minority Report sequel...Oh, and the station itself, it's like a first class mall na parang airport din! ] Anyways, I have never seen a single child begging, scattered in the street. While I was waiting for an MTR train coach to arrive, a chinese girl placed her (i think it was) a laptop bag down by her side while standing reading a book not minding if somone might snatch it, and no chinese probably will...(you will and can never do that here in MNL).  Some of their buildings/apartments are old and not impressive to the eyes but I have never seen a pile of waste anywhere. Even their pier is clean! Before we left MNL, I have been warned so many times that Chinese are rude or "bastos" but dig this... From the airport going to HK to the airport going to MNL, no Chinese was ever rude to us but our fellow Filipinos.

Scene 1. At the airport to HK. We paid for our terminal fee ticket and we thought the cashier forgot to give us our change. So we went back and ask him. My friend said, "Sir, ask ko lang po yung change namin kasi we gave you P**0000..." He replied, "San ticket nyo?". We gave it and he said in a very sarcastic way looking at us as if we're going to HK to take care of Chinese kids, "Hindi ba ito?!". Apparently, he stapled the change (in bills) with our tickets. How the hell would we know that it was stapled with our tickets?! The terminal ticket is the same size as the bills are! Then he uttered, he's not done yet, "Ingat kayo, baka mawala kayo!".

 photo designed by T.

W. M. Lewis once wrote, "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

It is almost another year, that would again pass and nothing has changed. Maybe a little bit of this and that with career, friends - a lot came, few has gone, family - my younger sister getting married and...

Love. It always has to be spoken of. After a year of flashbacks, could have been, might be and still hoping for that first and last call of the day, I am still hanging on. And i'm tired of hearing about it or even thinking about it because maybe i mean it when I say that phase in my life is through.

Until you see his name somewhere. And darn, that phase in my life has always never been through.

Now, i would stop from there because I may not run out of words to say it or stories to tell or sighs to let out but one thing is certain, I might have blown away the zillion chances when it was just in front of me. One friend of mine said, if I had push myself a little, we would have had 2 kids by now. 

I said, enough.

It is really better to read inspirational stories or hear great advice from people. You think about it and you gather strength to make this day a different one but at the end of it all, it's all on you.

If i said yes on his invitation to watch a basketball game then...
If i said yes when he asked to drive me home...
If I said yes to that countless night out invitations...
If i gave a little meaning when he had to see me with his tie on the first time...
If I knew then that those little things meant a great deal to him,  would we really have 2 kids by now?

No this is not from a movie. It was from my own love story and my birthday is next month.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once wrote, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

The sad thing about loving what you only see on TV is it may never be real.  Let me elaborate...

I have this crush in our company. He is the "crush ng bayan", the "ang funny funny nya" guy, the "ang galing nya at ang nice nya" guy. The "it" guy, he's got all that factor and the only reason why you won't like him is if you haven't seen him nor talked to him EVER. In short, you don't like him because you don't know him. And you don't have to know him at all to like him. One encounter is enough to like him. Yeah, there's such a thing pala!

One time, after a hundred years of not seeing him....

I'll make it short and simple, I had an encounter with him. It was a short but kilig encounter that I would not want to elaborate because he might be reading blogs and I don't want to be caught.

Here's my point...

In Koreanovelas, a short-kilig encounter as that of mine would lead to this:

I got into an elevator, with my head tilted down. He was leaning at back side of the elevator while I was talking to myself out loud not aware that there was another person inside.  What I said was "san kaya kami kakain ngayon?".  And then I heard someone laugh behind me...

anyo hoseyo!

Lately, my life hasn't been that boring at all. It's being filled up by Korean dramas that i have on queue week after week. So every week, I have a new someone to drool over. So they say, if you're fond of watching romantic/comedy movies, if you believe in fairy tales and if you like keeping quotable quotes from movies, you're definitely Single! Not that Attached people aren't fond of these but us singles are more like into it coz we don't have anything to give our feelings to but to our day dreams.
So now I say, if you're fond of Koreanovelas, you're definitely one of us!